Relationships involve a great deal of things. Communicating concerns to your partner when you are angry does not have to be in a hurtful way. Clients often tell me they get into the ‘heat of the moment’ and forget to be considerate of their partner’s feelings. This can produce long-term hurt that is not very easy to heal. In turn, this can damage your relationship irreparably.
In the article, One ‘Zinger’ Can Undo 20 ‘I Love You’s’, the author states that:
“Unkind words echo in our ears for years while the kind words are forgotten in days. A “zinger,” that is, a cruel and aggressive quip or retort, can cut wounds too deep for pacifying words to heal.”
The author examines a couple different areas of consideration:
Hurtful Words
One-line ‘Zingers’ are what the author describes as the quick comebacks individuals offer as a retort to something their partner says to them. While at the moment, you may think you are making a good, what you may really be doing is hurting your partner with careless words.
Facial Expressions
Be careful rolling your eyes or scoffing when your partner says something you don’t totally agree with. Body language really influences how your messages will be received. Try to control these impulses. The more aware you are of how you are receiving messages from your partner, the more likely your partner will think you are being positively receptive to them.
What do you think? How do you communicate with your partner? Are you rolling your eyes too?
Book a therapy session today to learn how you can improve your relationship communication skills.
Dr. Belky Perez 