Emotional Infidelity: Is it cheating?

Sharing lunch breaks, texting throughout the day, regularly updating each other on Facebook – regular co-worker relationship, or is there more to it?

Infidelity is often considered a black-and-white topic – you might immediately think of someone having sexual contact with someone other than their partner.  However, is this accurate?  What else might be considered cheating? Is there a gray area?  Emotional infidelity is something discussed in this potential gray area. What motivates the individuals to maintain contact? Is the communication merely work-related? Or is there more to the exchanges? Are these warning signs that something is wrong with your relationship?

A few important factors must be considered:

How is this friendship affecting your relationship?

Are you spending less with your partner? Do you find yourself sitting with your partner thinking of your friend.  Are you preoccupied with thoughts of your friend when you are engaged in activities with your partner that used to interest you? Do your actions both your partner? It may be a ‘simple email’ or text to you. But how does your partner feel?

Are you keeping secret from your partner?

Keeping secrets from a partner is sometimes inevitable.  But the type of secrets you are keeping are key.  Are you concealing your actions from your partner? Do you keep your lunch dates and friend statuses to yourself because you fear what your partner’s reaction might be? Do you feel guilty about your friendship?

Are you forgetting dates you set up with your partner?

It’s normal to get caught up every now and then. But is this happening more frequently?  Are you telling your partner you will be working late to spend more time with your friend?  Being inconsiderate with your partner’s time and feelings can break down the trust in your relationship.

What’s happening in your relationship?  Are you an emotional cheater?